I would like to apologize. Things have happened recently that have made it difficult to post on this site. Which brings up the question…

If an apology is said and no one is around to hear it, does it matter?

Honestly, half of the acceptance when someone is need of apologizing for something is actually coming from them. People act differently when have done something wrong, varying from person to person. Some people immediately forget, don’t really care but have it burn in the back of their mind. Some people can’t help feeling bad from the first moment that they comprehended what they did. Some people don’t feel anything at all.

The first step to apologizing to someone is apologizing to yourself.

In the end, you hurt yourself in addition to hurting that other person. You took someone else situation and made it worse, but in addition to that, you created a perspective. An alternate point of view that sees you as an asshole, a monster. That person, in one way, sees you as that. That perspective can spread, can be told and understood by others. This happens until everyone who cares about the person has their perspective changed, at least until you redeem yourself in their eyes. Literally, one action by you caused your entire world to change for the worse, and that is why you must apologize and understand what you did. You screwed yourself over.

Obviously, once you understand that what you did was a mistake, and that you will make every attempt to curb your urge to make it again, you are already halfway to solving the entire issue. Talking to the person after making this internal agreement solidifies what you taught yourself to not do/act.

It’s human nature in a nutshell. Actions or things we do not enjoy having in our own life are cast aside, slowly but surely, until all that is left is what we accept. We treat these negatives like viruses, weeding them out over the entirety of our entire lives.

Taking a step back and watching this unfold as a gigantic process encompassing all of human creation, its pretty enlightening.